This essay is for people who date us transgender people or people who are transgender allies. Here are some things you need to know if you want to hang out or date transgender people.
Do not refer to us trans women as trannies. This is a derogatory term that people use to demean trans people in a negative way.
Do not ask us questions non-stop. It is understandable that people have so many questions toward us transgender people. What is your old name? When did you do your surgery? How long have you been transitioned? What is between your legs? It is very natural that people are curious about trans people. But if you really want to be friends with us or date a trans woman, you shouldn’t ask these questions. As a matter of fact, these questions are not the reason why you want to approach transgender people, right? Why care so much? If you can’t help it, we would questions your motivation. What do you want exactly? We would think that your curiosity outgrows your intention of being friends or have a serious ts dating with us.
Treat us like a person, not a sex toy. Many people have a misconception about transgender women that they think transgender women are very good at sex. Some of them consider us as a fetish. Actually, transgender women have no better sex skill than cisgender person. We take hormones that would decrease our sex drive. This is just a wrong stereotype about us. Many men held this stereotype as a purpose to meet transgender women. Once they meet a trans women, they just take her as a sex tool or sex fantasy, which is not.
Transgender women are biologically born male. So it is inevitable that there might be one day that we don’t care our look in front of you. Our facial hair and body hair would come out. One day you may wake up and see there is a bit moustache on our mouth. Do not freak out. You can tell us. But do not laugh at us. It is very awkward.
Treat her like you would treat a cisgender woman. Remember that we are women in the first place. Any cisgender women want, we want it too. We want you to hold out hands. We want you to go shopping with us. We want you to introduce us to your friends. We want your compliments. So long as you really consider us as a woman, you can treat us the way we like to be treated. Make sure you are ready for this transgender dating relationship. Make sure you are confident and secure enough to date a transgender and to face all doubts, objections and judgments, because it will happen eventually.
Do not stereotype trans women. When it comes to transgender women, people would relate to porn star, crossdresser, escort, freaks and so on. But actually, there are just a few transgender people are doing that. Most transgender women are just living a very normal life and do what they like.